Instead of wallowing in my anger, I want to encourage all you ladies and gents, I ain't sexist in a bad long-term relationship. I am talking about a long-term dating relationship, not marriage.
I just want to tell you, there's hope.
Not for your relationship, but for you as an individual.
You have to decide whether working it out is plausible or not.
What I'm talking about is that there is hope outside of this toxic relationship. There is hope when you finally kick off that chain that is tying you down.
I know you may not see it now, but there is a whole life out there waiting for you, without that person in it.
You can travel, meet new people, fall in love all over again, move to NYC, get a puppy, ANYTHING.
Life opened up for me when I realized that that relationship was doomed.
I know it's scary to "be alone" but you won't be.
You have friends, family, and most importantly, a God who cares so much about you.
The Lord often brings us closer to him when we are at our weakest. I know it isn't a fun option to open yourself up to a time alone, but it's worth it.
Your walk with the Lord will be stronger than it ever was when you're leaning on Him alone.
I know it's frightening to not know what is coming next, but it's okay not to know.
When I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, I couldn't stand people asking me questions. I promptly started answering every "are you guys getting back together?" "what happened?" "how are you doing?" with "I don't know."
and I don't know is OKAY! I know it's easy to get bogged down in the life you had planned, but plans change.
When I finally got up the nerve to break up with my ex, my Dad dropped some wisdom on me that I will never ever forget.
After telling him how my ex had made me feel like unwanted garbage for months, my Daddy, with nothing but love in his wrinkled blue eyes, looked at me and said "You deserve so much better. You do not deserve to get [emotionally] punched in the stomach for 20 years and if he doesn't want you now, he won't treat you any better 30 years down the road."
This has changed my life and I distinctly remember telling this to two of my best friends going through similar situations. I don't think I can do it justice, but I hope the concept seeped through.
You deserve better than that.
You can do better than crying on the phone at 2 am to your friend/mom/sister/brother/dad.
You deserve better than being someone's second choice.
You deserve someone who is going to love you unashamedly for the rest of your life.You deserve to be happy in your relationship.
You're stronger than you think you are.
And I just thought someone should tell you.
-S
And because I love my Mom and Dad, there's a beautiful picture of them from their anniversary.
