So I'm 20 years old with all my old plans and ideas about the future thrown out the window. What's next?
Well I don't know, but I know what isn't next.
What isn't next for me is someone else. It's not another guy, relationship, job, or trip. It's a thriving and full relationship with my Jesus. It's losing myself in Him so He can refine what is best in me.
Something that really bugs me about the ending of a relationship is when people constantly ask if I've found someone new. I understand the good intentions behind these statements, but they just don't sit right with me. Don't get me wrong, there are guys who have caught my eye, but I'm aligning with the theory that when God brings a new man into my life, God's going to kick me right in the butt, give me a box of Moon Pies, and say "here ya go." (Well maybe not quite that way, but that's how I like to think about it. God is definitely a fan of Moon Pies, as all people should be.) But guess what? God hasn't done that to me, yet. When I've began to rush ahead, He's pulled me back, mostly with a nice big slice of humble pie to go with it. God has a way of doing that, just when I think I've got it together.
But to answer the question these people are dying to know, I have found someone new.
I've found ME.
I've found a whole new girl under the weight of what others told me I needed to be. I've found a girl stronger than she ever was before. A girl not scared to say what she wants, especially when she gets to be a little sassy about it. I've found a girl who loves outcasts and weirdos because they're the most interesting people. I've found the best friends I could ever ask for, the kind that lift me up when I need them. I've found out that I thrive teaching in a classroom (a fact that my parents are very excited for because I'm in the third year of the program). I've found that I am way more outgoing and people oriented than I ever realized.
And most importantly, I found a young lady who leans on the Lord because He's the only one dependable enough to lean on.
I will not go seeking what the world tells me I need to find. What I will do is fall more in love with Jesus each and everyday. So when that right guy does come around, he will have to love Jesus just as much as I do for me to consider him. (And hopefully he brings some Moon Pies, couldn't hurt.)
-S
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